Steve's jokes - Techwatch Support Forums: Digital & Satellite TV, FTA, Cable, Computers, Mobile Phones, Apple and General Tech Forums

steve07951 · 29-07-07, 05:17 PM

i would like to start a random joke post so here goes

THIEVES AT WORK

Two men are robbing a hotel.
"I hear sirens. Jump!" says the first one.
"But we're on the 13th floor!" his fellow thief replies.
"This is no time to be superstitious!"

steve07951 · 29-07-07, 05:19 PM

GETTING CROSS

Q: What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who lies awake at night asking if there's a dog

steve07951 · 29-07-07, 05:20 PM

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE

If you're in a long-term relationship, try the following to spice up your sex life: Get your lover, blindfold them, get some ropes and chains and tie them very tightly to the bed. Then go and have sex with someone else

steve07951 · 29-07-07, 05:23 PM

A BLONDE'S BRAIN AT WORK sorry Ann

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette one day, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss.
She quietly sneaks out of the house and vows to return home at her normal time the next day.
In the morning, the brunette says: "That was fun, we should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

steve07951 · 29-07-07, 05:25 PM

THE WORLD'S BEST BAR

The first says: "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The second then starts: "That sounds like a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one called Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Then the third pipes up. "You think that's good? Where I come from, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That sounds fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?" "No," replies their friend, "but it happened to my sister!"

29-07-07, 05:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
steve07951 (super Mod) Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: around somewhere Posts: 2,376 Thanks: 0 Thanked 72 Times in 21 Posts	Steve's jokes i would like to start a random joke post so here goes THIEVES AT WORK Two men are robbing a hotel. "I hear sirens. Jump!" says the first one. "But we're on the 13th floor!" his fellow thief replies. "This is no time to be superstitious!" __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

29-07-07, 05:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
steve07951 (super Mod) Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: around somewhere Posts: 2,376 Thanks: 0 Thanked 72 Times in 21 Posts	Re: Steve's jokes GETTING CROSS Q: What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? A: Someone who lies awake at night asking if there's a dog __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

29-07-07, 05:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
steve07951 (super Mod) Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: around somewhere Posts: 2,376 Thanks: 0 Thanked 72 Times in 21 Posts	Re: Steve's jokes SPICE UP YOUR LIFE If you're in a long-term relationship, try the following to spice up your sex life: Get your lover, blindfold them, get some ropes and chains and tie them very tightly to the bed. Then go and have sex with someone else __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

29-07-07, 05:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
steve07951 (super Mod) Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: around somewhere Posts: 2,376 Thanks: 0 Thanked 72 Times in 21 Posts	Re: Steve's jokes A BLONDE'S BRAIN AT WORK sorry Ann A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette one day, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss. She quietly sneaks out of the house and vows to return home at her normal time the next day. In the morning, the brunette says: "That was fun, we should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught." __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

29-07-07, 05:25 PM	#5 (permalink)
steve07951 (super Mod) Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: around somewhere Posts: 2,376 Thanks: 0 Thanked 72 Times in 21 Posts	Re: Steve's jokes THE WORLD'S BEST BAR The first says: "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!" The second then starts: "That sounds like a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one called Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink." Then the third pipes up. "You think that's good? Where I come from, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!" "Wow!" say the other two. "That sounds fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?" "No," replies their friend, "but it happened to my sister!" __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Sms Joke's :)	thegingerman	Jokes, Puzzles & Games	0	22-07-07 11:09 PM
Blonde Jokes	Andre	Jokes, Puzzles & Games	0	25-12-06 08:35 AM