Jokes for the ladies

[ag113276]

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-
shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb...

---------------------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

---------------------------------------------

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today,"
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the
neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

---------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
---------------------------------------------

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because
they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

------------------------------------------

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for
Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

---------------------------------------------

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

--------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

---------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

---------------------------------------------

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

---------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

---------------------------------------------

[chef1]

lol
funny as

[daviddawn]

good jokes

[dongle1000]

wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong
but funny