Technology Forums: FTA, Satellite, Cable, Home Media, Hardware & Computers
|  Home   |  Forums   |  News   |  Blog   |  

Go Back   Techwatch: Satellite TV forums, FTA, Cable, Hardware, & Tech forums > General Forum > The Lounge > Jokes, Puzzles & Games


 

Register Members List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Jokes, Puzzles & Games Any budding Jim Davidsons out there, have a joke to tell, or a puzzle to solve? then post away and make us laugh, cry or pull our hair out.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 19-08-07, 11:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
ag113276's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 40
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Guys rules for the ladies

1. Men are NOT mind readers.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.


1 Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.



See a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one


1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, itwill be scratched.

We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not wor th the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,

orgolf.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!
ag113276 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.2.0 ©2008, Crawlability, Inc.