Postman Pats last day

[Analoguesat]

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the
mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the
whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on
his way with a gift cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch
whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her
lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the
bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever
experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the dumb blonde fixed
him a full George Best breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with
freshly-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As
she was pouring, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup's
bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the
fivequid for?"

"Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today
would be your last day and that we should do something special for you."

"I asked him what to give you." He said, "F*ck him. Give him a fiver."

She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."