Glossary of Complete Cr@p - Techwatch: Satellite TV forums, FTA, Cable, Hardware, & Tech forums

BGonaSTICK · 04-12-06, 12:33 AM

Here is the Official Satellite Help Glossary Of Technical Terms (OSHGOTT): http://www.satellitehelp.co.uk/porta...nt/view/18/28/

This thread, however, is the OSHGOCC, the Official Satellite Help Glossary Of Complete Cr@p. It's a (hopefully growing) resource covering all those technical terms that haven't yet made it into the text-books, but capture the essence of often unfathomable guff in a particularly poetic way.

We reserve the right to extract any particularly funny tosh from any other thread for inclusion here, although we promise to protect the identities of those responsible.

A quick bash of the search function though will reveal that most of them are by Analoguesat :roflmao:

SCL Channels - Scantily Clad Ladies channel. One of the growing number of completely rubbish channels where you can phone or text in to be charged a fortune, while some half undressed lady chats to her boyfriend. See also T!ts for Texts Channels

WSV - Wonky Standard Vision. Terrestrial, standard definition television transmission protocol used purely to show to people that have had a free terrestrial HDTV trial and then had it mercilessly taken away and replaced with a 20-page survey.

T!ts for Texts Channels - Oh come on, you started from the top, didn't you?

Analoguesat · 04-12-06, 02:20 PM

ops:

'Ere Someones taking the mickey

. In fact - all of those are mine

I'll throw in

You want it = you pay for it Applied to folks who ask for help opening securely encrypted pay tv services.

Analoguesat · 25-12-06, 09:39 PM

Squishyvision / squashyvision Seen on badly set up tellys where the people are tall and thin. Specially replicated here where the wheels are rather more oval than circular....:

marswalker · 31-01-07, 12:47 PM

i like woblyscope and fuzzyvision my self

covers all home made videos submitted to cheap tv shows having been made by the public.

marswalker

Analoguesat · 21-03-07, 01:33 PM

RTB real time betting - for the guys who do serious betting and make money from it.

I learned I wasnt going to make money from betting at an early age.

The date - the mid 1970's.
The occasion - the Grand National
The setup - the family sweepstake with each of us randomly having drawn 8 horses - so therefore with 40 horses in the field a 1/5 chance of doing ok.

2 of my nags fell at the first, and by Bechers (the 6th fence) I had lost 6 horses

Number 7 fell at The Chair (halfway round) so by the end of the first circuit all but one of my horses were out
Number 8 trailed in a distant last - its probably still running....

:clap:

I leaned a valuable lesson that day (dont waste money on the horses - go to the pub instead!)

madrat · 05-06-07, 02:19 PM

what about SPS stupid people syndrone, sure every one is familiar with that.

hybug · 07-06-07, 08:45 PM

TANSTAAFL

hybug · 07-06-07, 08:46 PM

TANSTAAFL there aint no such thing as a free lunch (reminds me of a certain satellite broadcaster)

04-12-06, 12:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
BGonaSTICK Super Murderator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Brighton Posts: 10,633 Thanks: 3 Thanked 64 Times in 37 Posts	Glossary of Complete Cr@p Here is the Official Satellite Help Glossary Of Technical Terms (OSHGOTT): http://www.satellitehelp.co.uk/porta...nt/view/18/28/ This thread, however, is the OSHGOCC, the Official Satellite Help Glossary Of Complete Cr@p. It's a (hopefully growing) resource covering all those technical terms that haven't yet made it into the text-books, but capture the essence of often unfathomable guff in a particularly poetic way. We reserve the right to extract any particularly funny tosh from any other thread for inclusion here, although we promise to protect the identities of those responsible. A quick bash of the search function though will reveal that most of them are by Analoguesat :roflmao: SCL Channels - Scantily Clad Ladies channel. One of the growing number of completely rubbish channels where you can phone or text in to be charged a fortune, while some half undressed lady chats to her boyfriend. See also T!ts for Texts Channels WSV - Wonky Standard Vision. Terrestrial, standard definition television transmission protocol used purely to show to people that have had a free terrestrial HDTV trial and then had it mercilessly taken away and replaced with a 20-page survey. T!ts for Texts Channels - Oh come on, you started from the top, didn't you? __________________ Dreambox 7000, Skystar2 PCI, Skystar USB, Fibo 90cm on Moteck SG2100, Triax TD110 multi-LNB. Sky + ART cards. 45.0°E - 58.0°W

04-12-06, 02:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
Analoguesat satellite expert Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Scottish Borders Posts: 8,334 Thanks: 10 Thanked 270 Times in 242 Posts	Re: Glossary of Complete Cr@p ops: 'Ere Someones taking the mickey . In fact - all of those are mine I'll throw in You want it = you pay for it Applied to folks who ask for help opening securely encrypted pay tv services. __________________ To all the cable boys - do not post: keys of any sort firmware for receivers links to sites carrying files, keys or fixes Read the rules before you post - click here to read them

25-12-06, 09:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
Analoguesat satellite expert Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Scottish Borders Posts: 8,334 Thanks: 10 Thanked 270 Times in 242 Posts	Re: Glossary of Complete Cr@p Squishyvision / squashyvision Seen on badly set up tellys where the people are tall and thin. Specially replicated here where the wheels are rather more oval than circular....: __________________ To all the cable boys - do not post: keys of any sort firmware for receivers links to sites carrying files, keys or fixes Read the rules before you post - click here to read them

31-01-07, 12:47 PM	#4 (permalink)
marswalker Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 35 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Glossary of Complete Cr@p i like woblyscope and fuzzyvision my self covers all home made videos submitted to cheap tv shows having been made by the public. marswalker

21-03-07, 01:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
Analoguesat satellite expert Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Scottish Borders Posts: 8,334 Thanks: 10 Thanked 270 Times in 242 Posts	Re: Glossary of Complete Cr@p RTB real time betting - for the guys who do serious betting and make money from it. I learned I wasnt going to make money from betting at an early age. The date - the mid 1970's. The occasion - the Grand National The setup - the family sweepstake with each of us randomly having drawn 8 horses - so therefore with 40 horses in the field a 1/5 chance of doing ok. 2 of my nags fell at the first, and by Bechers (the 6th fence) I had lost 6 horses Number 7 fell at The Chair (halfway round) so by the end of the first circuit all but one of my horses were out Number 8 trailed in a distant last - its probably still running.... :clap: I leaned a valuable lesson that day (dont waste money on the horses - go to the pub instead!) __________________ To all the cable boys - do not post: keys of any sort firmware for receivers links to sites carrying files, keys or fixes Read the rules before you post - click here to read them


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05-06-07, 02:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
madrat Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Leicestershire Posts: 1,713 Thanks: 4 Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts	Re: Glossary of Complete Cr@p what about SPS stupid people syndrone, sure every one is familiar with that. __________________ *I want it and I want it now*

07-06-07, 08:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
hybug Junior Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 20 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Glossary of Complete Cr@p TANSTAAFL

07-06-07, 08:46 PM	#8 (permalink)
hybug Junior Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 20 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Glossary of Complete Cr@p TANSTAAFL there aint no such thing as a free lunch (reminds me of a certain satellite broadcaster)