not pc,but who cares

[merlodlliw]

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she
was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.


Bob

[Robbo]

Bucking frilliant

Love it.

I like to hear someone try and tell it verbally.

[ted]

One of my all time greats ! Robbo, Google him and you will find lots of his stuff there

[drahcirk03]

iv been talking like that all my life, weird when ur sober,.

[Robbo]

Originally Posted by ted

One of my all time greats ! Robbo, Google him and you will find lots of his stuff there

Who is the author?

[Likvid]

F***ing hell mate, that was really good.

[ted]

Robbo,

'Professor' Stanley Unwin wrote them (mainly) himself, but also collaborated with such people as Ted Ray, Joyce Grenfell, Frankie Howerd etc.

He was born in S/Africa, but later came here (UK) when his parents came to live in Daventry, why don't you have a decko on Explorer where lots of info is available?

My interest in this sort of stuff comes from the fact that (pre my stroke) I was a backing organist in cabaret for about 45 years. (Sheesh, that's given my age away) lol.

Ted

[merlodlliw]

Originally Posted by ted

Robbo,

'Professor' Stanley Unwin wrote them (mainly) himself, but also collaborated with such people as Ted Ray, Joyce Grenfell, Frankie Howerd etc.

He was born in S/Africa, but later came here (UK) when his parents came to live in Daventry, why don't you have a decko on Explorer where lots of info is available?

My interest in this sort of stuff comes from the fact that (pre my stroke) I was a backing organist in cabaret for about 45 years. (Sheesh, that's given my age away) lol.

Ted

Hello, This then must have been for a live threatre audience, I also as a child recall him on the light programme. but then in the dark BBC days,
no music on Sunday before noon, the beeb would never have allowed
this on steam radio.


Bob

[SAT-WORLD]

I remember Stanley Unwin,can't say I remembered his name,totally off the bat,but you certainly never forget his unique talent for Unwinese or Basic Engly Twentyfido.