Two old friends....

[fj1200]

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Hey, do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'

'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way round the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'So, what do you do for a living?'

'I'm a hit man', was the reply.

'You're joking!' was the response.

'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag and pulling out a beautiful sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are the tools of my trade.'

'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'may I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her... He's naked, too!'

He turned to the hit man an asked, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'

'I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand quid every time I pull the trigger.'

'Can you do two for me, now?'

'Sure, what do you want?'

'First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'

'Then shoot the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his pecker off, to teach him a lesson.'

The hit man picked up the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

'Well, are you going to do it, or not?' asked the friend impatiently.

'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here...'