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pontiend · 08-12-08, 06:27 PM

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

madrat · 08-12-08, 07:28 PM

Ah those questions that keep you awake at night.

nanochickin · 08-12-08, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Or even Baa baa blacksheep

wasp11 · 08-12-08, 09:08 PM

Nice one pontie, brightened up my monday

pontiend · 08-12-08, 11:58 PM

How about .
How hungry was the first frenchman to eat a frog.
How hungry was the first man to look at a snail and think that looks a tasty snack.etc

skyman114 · 09-12-08, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pontiend

How about .
How hungry was the first frenchman to eat a frog.
How hungry was the first man to look at a snail and think that looks a tasty snack.etc

Or the first Aussie to eat kangeroo Cock ?

madrat · 09-12-08, 10:43 PM

Quote:

How hungry was the first man to look at a snail and think that looks a tasty snack.etc

Never tried snails but I do love Whelks, (sea snails)

wasp11 · 09-12-08, 10:46 PM

Why do women take ten times longer than men at auto tills. Stand behind say three of em, and try not swearing into yourself NO CHANCE

wasp11 · 09-12-08, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by madrat

Never tried snails but I do love Whelks, (sea snails)

Love whelks, and its been years. So summer 09 i'll head for the rocks on the county down coast, and get a large pot full

ade_dnb · 14-12-08, 10:49 PM

Thats my faveorite. Great lines

Quote:

Originally Posted by pontiend

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

08-12-08, 06:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
pontiend Senile Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: south yorkshire Posts: 883 Thanks: 210 Thanked 197 Times in 161 Posts	why Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? What is the speed of darkness? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on....... Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? __________________ TM9100 super.TM-5402HD. TM-5400 CI+. TM1000 d+. triax 88 cm dish.stab hh90 motor.53e-30w. 90cm,fixed.

08-12-08, 07:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
madrat Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Leicestershire Posts: 2,208 Thanks: 11 Thanked 71 Times in 61 Posts	Re: why Ah those questions that keep you awake at night. __________________ *VIRGIN, STOP SENDING ME JUNK MAIL.*

08-12-08, 09:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
wasp11 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: belfast Posts: 2,348 Thanks: 931 Thanked 887 Times in 654 Posts	Re: why Nice one pontie, brightened up my monday __________________ TEA VICAR?

08-12-08, 11:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
pontiend Senile Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: south yorkshire Posts: 883 Thanks: 210 Thanked 197 Times in 161 Posts	Re: why How about . How hungry was the first frenchman to eat a frog. How hungry was the first man to look at a snail and think that looks a tasty snack.etc __________________ TM9100 super.TM-5402HD. TM-5400 CI+. TM1000 d+. triax 88 cm dish.stab hh90 motor.53e-30w. 90cm,fixed.

09-12-08, 10:46 PM	#8 (permalink)
wasp11 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: belfast Posts: 2,348 Thanks: 931 Thanked 887 Times in 654 Posts	Re: why Why do women take ten times longer than men at auto tills. Stand behind say three of em, and try not swearing into yourself NO CHANCE __________________ TEA VICAR?