orgasm checklist

[the insaan]

Whether a woman fakes her orgasms or not, is something the majority of men would rather not question in case they discovered that she has been all along, and that they are not in fact the stud they thought women go wild for, but rather a pathetic creature with a problem, who needs to be patronized. For those of you who would prefer not to ask her, but would still like to know, there is a simple checklist to help you.

1. In the middle of lovemaking, and just before the moment it sounds as though she is about to have an orgasm, stop and take away the magazine she has been reading. If she says "Oh, I was reading that", then she was faking it.

2. If her panting, groaning and screaming are in tune, or sound like a familiar song, then she can't be concentrating enough on the job at hand, and must therefore be faking it. Or else she really likes the song playing on her personal stereo.

3. A rule of thumb, which is usually very accurate, is: stop at random and record her response. If every time you stop she says "Mmmmmmm you were wonderful", then she is faking it. If she says "Don't stop", then she isn't. However, if she says "Don't stop" hours after lovemaking has finished, it is possible that she may have fallen asleep, and missed most of the excitement.