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| Jokes, Puzzles & Games Any budding Jim Davidsons out there, have a joke to tell, or a puzzle to solve? then post away and make us laugh, cry or pull our hair out. |
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#1 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Bristol
Posts: 265
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Thanked 316 Times in 153 Posts
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The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?' The old Chief calmly replied, ' |
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#2 (permalink) |
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GT user and abuser!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Co. Wicklow, Ireland
Posts: 498
Thanks: 49
Thanked 108 Times in 89 Posts
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I like it........a lot
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If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. |
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#3 (permalink) |
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manic midlander retired mod
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Scottish Borders
Posts: 11,668
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Hahaha. Oh I like that one - I almost choked on me beer!
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Basic forum rules for both satellite & cable: no keys no patches no offering or asking for card shares Anyone pm'ing me for details of card sharing or anything to do with hacking cable will be banned immediately Analogue forever!! ![]() |
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