Go Back   Techwatch Support Forums: Digital & Satellite TV, FTA, Cable, Computers, Mobile Phones, Apple and General Tech Forums > Tech Forums > General Forum > Jokes, Puzzles & Games



Jokes, Puzzles & Games Any budding Jim Davidsons out there, have a joke to tell, or a puzzle to solve? then post away and make us laugh, cry or pull our hair out.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-11-09, 04:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Bristol
Posts: 265
Thanks: 263
Thanked 316 Times in 153 Posts
Default retirement bonus

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement
a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two
points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would
be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of
His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a
bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked
where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.

But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing
the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which
He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's
weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where
are your testicles?'

The old Chief calmly replied, ' Vietnam'
unit14 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to unit14 For This Useful Post:
Andy20 (15-11-09), crofty1379 (16-12-09), flyingkarpet (12-11-09), g80878 (09-11-09)
Old 08-11-09, 09:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
GT user and abuser!
 
charlie1966's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Co. Wicklow, Ireland
Posts: 498
Thanks: 49
Thanked 108 Times in 89 Posts
Default Re: retirement bonus

I like it........a lot
__________________
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
charlie1966 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-09, 09:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
manic midlander retired mod
 
Analoguesat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Scottish Borders
Posts: 11,668
Thanks: 21
Thanked 1,339 Times in 990 Posts
Default Re: retirement bonus

Hahaha. Oh I like that one - I almost choked on me beer!
__________________
Basic forum rules for both satellite & cable:

no keys
no patches
no offering or asking for card shares

Anyone pm'ing me for details of card sharing or anything to do with hacking cable will be banned immediately

Analogue forever!!
Analoguesat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-09, 08:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
RoRo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: in a house
Posts: 59
Thanks: 6
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: retirement bonus

class!
RoRo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-09, 09:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
yusuf_gaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,964
Thanks: 116
Thanked 623 Times in 525 Posts
Default Re: retirement bonus

Hi

Wicked lol.

Regards
yusuf_gaz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-09, 02:55 AM   #6 (permalink)
Technology Forums
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 9
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: retirement bonus

some good jokes on these forums
newbie27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ask brings Jeeves out of retirement Internet News Internet 0 21-04-09 12:10 PM
ICUK gives heavy users a bonus Internet News Internet 0 23-12-08 03:40 PM
retirement bonus ted Jokes, Puzzles & Games 0 11-11-07 02:54 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:41 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.